Joe Biden and the Dial of Destiny
The anatomy of the soft launch, from Hollywood to Washington
I.
Even casual movie-goers have encountered the soft launch. The soft launch film forces crisp air through the sagging lungs of a franchise with the one-two punch of old blood endorsing new blood. Disney, for example, is a prolific soft launcher. She-Hulk: Attorney at Law used Bruce Banner to soft launch Jennifer Walters. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny used Indy to launch his sarcastic granddaughter. Star Wars: The Force Awakens wheeled out Luke and Han for Rey Palpatine. Loki pitched audiences on Sylvie. Nick Fury chaperoned Captain Marvel. The list goes on. The Walt Disney Company has had their main men making way for their leading ladies for years now, passing the torch to a younger and more diverse generation.
But it’s hard to watch, say, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, and not realise that this isn’t the film they wanted to make. Harrison Ford, bless his heart, is 81 as of the fifth Indy film’s release. The writers of Dial of Destiny did not write a story about an ageing Indy and then cast Harrison Ford in it. They already had an ageing Harrison Ford and then tried to wrap a new Indy adventure around him. From there they added in the new, thinly developed female lead, in the hope that she could take over the reigns in the future – and voilà – you have this decade’s new comic duo. The disoriented but charismatic geriatric and the stunningly capable but wholly unlikeable ‘new lady’.
Neither an iconic nor particularly profitable duo.
In this way, the soft launch introduces a new direction, but hedges its bet with the safe and familiar. Anyone hoping for a fresh injection of vitality will be disappointed to find the familiar old granddad lurking by the podium, and anyone looking for a throwback to the good old days won’t stomach the smirking, underdeveloped usurper. It turns out that hedging your bets only works if one is likely to pay off. She is there because he can’t sustain the franchise any longer, but he is there because she can’t sustain it either. Tie two sinking ships together, and they don’t both float. To do something new, you have to be bold. You have to trust in what can be, unburdened by what was.
To pass the torch, you have to actually let go of it.
II.
Keen readers will notice that, aside from in the title, the 46th President of the United States, Joe Biden, is yet to be mentioned. This is largely because Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny fits so snugly as an analogy for the last four years of American politics, that it feels almost excessive to draw the comparison explicitly. The Biden-Harris ticket had all the hallmarks of a soft launch, even down to inheriting essentially the same media machine, one spring-loaded to deflect any criticism as simply the recently unearthed sexism of even their own supporters. And once again there’s Disney, never one to miss out on an opportunity to bankroll a misguided soft launch, flexing their political strength as a top contributor to the 2020 Biden-Harris campaign.
The film even predicted the fall of Joe ‘Dark Brandon’ Biden.
With the presidency being the Holy Grail for any US politician, Biden's grip on the chalice only strengthened this year with the onset of rigor mortis. The third act of Dial of Destiny however, ends with Indy’s granddaughter and intended franchise successor, Helena Shaw, literally punching Indy unconscious, before presumably dragging his limp body back to his apartment off screen, where he awakens just in time for the epilogue. How literally we take this analogy, in the wake of Biden’s recent withdrawal from the election, we’ll respectfully leave as an open question.
The Holy Grail of course features prominently in 1989’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but its promise of immortality is not portrayed as a fitting reward for a virtuous protagonist. Instead, the film’s climax shows the desperate clawing for the Grail as a craven act, that the need to perpetuate your own legacy above all else is a fundamentally ugly impulse. Where Indy and his father ultimately recognised that they had to abandon their pursuit of the Grail, Biden had to be pried from it. Despite tectonic levels of both inner party and public pressure, only when the money dried up and notable Democratic donors like Disney heiress Abigail Disney withheld their donations, did he step aside. It needn’t be said, but Sleepy Joe did not want to pass the torch.
If you can be convinced that you cannot defeat Donald Trump, will you stand down?
"Well, it depends, if the Lord Almighty comes out and tells me to do that, I might do that."
Interview with President Joe Biden
ABC News | July 6th, 2024
Newly presumptive nominee, Kamala Harris, at least by comparison, is a profoundly more energetic candidate. She likely isn’t strong enough to carry the franchise by herself, but we can at least bank on her still being alive when the credits roll. After all, that’s the purpose of the soft launch – the launch. The Kamala Harris sequel is well into production with a massive budget and a rather tight shooting schedule. The American public is getting that female-led sequel that they were primed for, and only time will tell if the ticket sells. Which brings us to the final facet of this straining analogy.
The successful soft launch.
III.
If we are going to pretend that the Dial of Destiny is as prophetic as the title suggests, then we may as well do the full story justice. In 2020, the Democrats had plenty of energetic primary candidates to choose from, yet ultimately opted to choose the guy who was the same age then as ex-President Bill Clinton is today. Similarly, in 2019, Disney was handed one of the most successful soft launches in cinematic history when they purchased Fox for $73.1 billion dollars. Even with Fox having already done all the hard work for them, Disney execs still managed to snatch senility from the jaws of victory.
Consider the poetic irony of 2017’s Logan.
The story of Logan’s production is short but horrifyingly relevant, as we’ll soon see. Logan, for the unfamiliar, was a successful soft launch film produced by Fox. It stars an ageing Wolverine – and an ageing Hugh Jackman – alongside Hollywood newcomer Dafne Keen, a young Spanish actress stepping into the shoes of Laura. The film elegantly passed the torch from the Jackman to Keen, respectfully sending off Jackman’s seventeen-year stint as the character, while serving up an emotionally compelling introduction for Laura. It was both a critical and financial success, becoming the third-highest-grossing R-rated film at its release.
Director and co-writer, James Mangold, reportedly began writing a sequel to Logan, titled ‘Laura’. Once Disney’s purchase of Fox went through, however, the project stalled, and Disney put the sequel on ice. As for those involved, Jackman has gone on to ‘unretire’ Wolverine for Deadpool & Wolverine. Dafne Keen appears to have been absorbed into the Disney+ machine, joining the cast of the first and presumably final season of The Acolyte, a Star Wars product. And as for the director, James Mangold? He had no choice but to abandon ‘Laura’, and a year later, signed on to direct Disney’s next cynical soft launch failure. That film’s name?
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.
Joe Biden's address on the subject of his withdrawal from the 2024 election reeked of someone utterly convinced that their legacy ought to be likened to Logan, of a man beaten but not bested, honourably sacrificing himself for the good of democracy. Joe Biden and the Dial of Disney, however, will ring far truer as his lasting legacy – rebooted one time too many, thoroughly craven in his grip on power, and knocked out in the final round by his hopeful successor. This isn’t the story he told, but it’s the one he showed the world. Perhaps Biden should have taken the advice Indy did, back in 1989, when his father told him,
“Indiana. Let it go.”
